Childhood Theology

Easter Sunday

JULIANA - 3 YEARS

Juliana appeared at the top of the stairs by herself. When reminded she wasn't allowed to climb the stairs on her own she replied, 

"I wasn't alone. Jesus was with me. I wasn't scared." 

Clever, clever three year old.

 

JULIANA AND ADALYN - 8 AND 5 YEARS

When children bless the food they don’t like:

Adalyn: Dear Jesus, thank you for the food last night.

Juliana: Dear Jesus, thank you for the food and help it not to taste bad…

 

JULIANA - 4.5 YEARS 

Juliana: But I WANT juice. 

Me: No, you don't need juice. Wanting something doesn't mean you need it. 

J: But I said PLEASE. That means I should have it. 

Me: Please isn't going to change it. 

J: Then what will?

Me: Nothing. I already said no. 

J: JESUS could. If he wanted to. 

 

ADALYN - 4 YEARS 

Adalyn: God is a clown.

Me: Um, why?

Adalyn: Because he is everything.

 

ADALYN - 2 YEARS 

Adalyn: When I'm a little baby...

Juliana: You will never be a little baby again. You will just get older and older and then you will die.

Adalyn: And then you go to jail.

Juliana: No, then you go to heaven.

Adalyn: Heaven is jail.

 

JULIANA - 3 YEARS

Juliana and I were talking about how God loves us.

J: But if we don't love God then he runs away?

Me: No, God still loves us even if we don't love him.

J: Like when I am mad at you, I still love you?

Me: That's good.

J: Well, actually I don't.

 

JULIANA - 2 YEARS 

Yesterday Juliana was trying to avoid cleaning up like I asked her to, so she decided to start praying instead. Good one, Juliana.

 

JULIANA - 6 YEARS

Juliana (singing): Up from the grave she arose!

Me: Actually it's up from the grave "He" arose.

Juliana: No, Jesus can be either a boy or girl.

Me: God is not a boy or a girl, but when Jesus lived on earth he was a boy.

Juliana: No, he could be either. He had long hair.

 

NADIA - 3 YEARS

Nadia picks up a thumb-drive.

Nadia: What's this?

Me: It's a thumb-drive.

Nadia: Is that God?

Me: What? I don't understand. How is it God?

Nadia: I can see God in it.

Me: Umm, okay. How can you see God in it?

Nadia: Because it came from God.

Me: Well, no. It's a thumb-drive.

Nadia: Can you drive with it?

 

JULIANA - 2 YEARS

Me: Jesus is here, we just can't see him.

Juliana, looking around the room: "Oh, he's hiding??"

 

JULIANA - 3 YEARS

Juliana: Let's kill the bad guys!

Kevin: We don't have to kill the bad guys. Maybe we can help them not be bad guys. That's why we need Jesus.

Juliana: Jesus can help us kill the bad guys!

Kevin: No, Jesus can help them not be bad guys.

Juliana consults with Jesus: Jesus said he will help kill the bad guys!

 

 JULIANA - 3 YEARS

At dinner Juliana said, "You can't eat God! Then he would be all gone in your tummy. And I would get throw ups."

 

JULIANA - 4 YEARS

(Singing) You should pray to Jesus, not to sticks and stones.

You should be nice to Jesus.

MONSTERS!!

There's monsters in our home.

MONSTERS!!

If you pray to sticks and stones Jesus will send MONSTERS.

So how 'bout if you love Jesus

Instead. of. sticks. and. stooooones!

 

THE GIRLS - 10, 7, 5 YEARS 

The girls swimming at our hotel pool:

They started playing "Baptism," which involved shoving someone backwards under the water in a violent form of dunking and then quickly swimming away. Nadia was yelling, "Help! I don't want to be baptized!" 

Later Adalyn said, "I want to be baptized in our church because they don't put you in the water. But if I get baptized somewhere else, I will bring my goggles."

 

And my personal favorite...

 

JULIANA, ADALYN - 6 AND 3 YEARS

From the bedroom...

Adalyn: I need my blanket on!!

 Juliana: Ask God to help you.

Adalyn: I need my blanket on!!

Juliana: God, I pray that you would put Adalyn's blanket back on.

Adalyn: GOD'S NOT HERE!!