I really don't think I'm biased in saying my kids are extraordinarily funny. I have so many good quotes, I had to divide them into a blog series.
JULIANA, 5 YEARS
While pregnant with Nadia.
Me: Right now, baby is the size of a carrot.
Juliana: A carrot?? I've never seen a carrot
come out of someone's belly.
Me: No, that's just how big it is.
J: The carrot's brother or sister?
Me: No, the baby.
J: The baby carrot?
Me: No! carrots grow in the ground. I'm just
talking about the size of the baby.
J: So it's a person baby?
Me: Yes!
J: Oh...I knew it was a person baby. I just
thought its name was carrot.
JULIANA, 4 YEARS
Juliana: I will marry God and then I will be a
princess.
Me: You mean a nun?
Juliana: I will marry daddy and then I will be
a princess.
Kevin: I'm already married to mama.
Juliana: It's okay. You can stop being married
to her and then you can marry me.
(a few minutes later) How will I know if
someone loves me? I think you and mama can find someone for me to marry.
Kevin: You might change your mind about an
arranged marriage, but we can help you to know if someone really loves you.
Juliana: EVERYONE loves me.
JULIANA, 3 YEARS
Juliana: Moo, moo, moo.
Mama: Are you a cow?
Juliana: No, I'm a girl who says 'moo.'
JULIANA, 4 YEARS
Juliana, struggling with her clothes:
"I'm trying to get my shirt tucked into my pants, but it just won't LISTEN
to me! "'
JULIANA, 3 YEARS
Juliana: Yaya! I'm making your stairs
beautiful!
(as she puts Mickey Mouse stickers on the
stairs)
Me: The stairs might not be the best place for
stickers.
Juliana with shocked expression: You don't
want beautiful stairs? Yes you do!
JULIANA, 5 YEARS
Did you know you can eat ice that's clean? Did
you know that? I ate ice once. But it was a long time ago. #thirdculturekid
NADIA, 5 YEARS
Nadia to Adalyn:
How do you spell mama?
How do you spell dada?
How do you spell stop?
How do you spell George Washington?
NADIA, 2 YEARS
Desert book: "What do you think of when
you think of the desert?"
Nadia: "Um...Pandas!!"
Desert book: "desert, desert,
desert..."
Nadia: "Where's the pandas?"
NADIA, 3 YEARS
Finishing Nadia's birthday cake.
Me: My arm is so sore from mixing.
Nadia: My arm is so sore from tasting.
ADALYN, 8 YEARS
Adalyn, whispering to mama: The secret message
is "Valentine’s card break."
Nadia: I heard you! You said valentines. And
you said break. "
Adalyn: No, I was talking about something
else. I said Barack. I said I wonder what Barack Obama is doing for Valentines
Day.
JULIANA, 8 YEARS
Driving to the store with just Juliana.
Juliana: It's pretty nice to have only one kid in the car. It's much calmer, isn't it? I can hear the songs on the radio. I like that. It's nice to have some peace and quiet." ... [talks continuously the rest of the way]
NADIA, 3 YEARS
When our plane was taking off to fly back to
China, I suggested Nadia say goodbye to America. She said, "Bye bye
America! Bye bye America! [perturbed] It's not saying goodbye back to
me!!"
NADIA, 5 YEARS
Me: "There's no place like home."
Nadia: That's not true. There are SOME places
like home.
Me: It means that home is the best place to
be.
Nadia: Well, I think Chuck-E-Cheese is the
best place to be.
JULIANA, 3 YEARS
Juliana outside on the swing: "Hi shadow,
how are you today? I'm fine. Shadow, what did you do beautiful today?"
ADALYN, 7 YEARS
There is a pop song the girls like that says,
"I like me better when I'm with you."
Today Adalyn was singing, "I like
everyone better when I'm alone."
She has a point.
ADALYN, 1.5 YEARS
Adalyn standing next to me as I was cutting up
a banana for her oatmeal: "I'm sorry 'nana!"
ADALYN, 8 YEARS
I just found the best thing in my life - this
wrapping paper roll!
JULIANA, 3 YEARS
Juliana at lunch: I was glabroabua...
Me: We can't understand you when your mouth is
full.
(A few minutes later)
Me: Juliana, I need you to sit back down and
finish eating.
Juliana: I can't understand you because my
mouth is full.
NADIA, 5 YEARS
Nadia: What's this?
Me: It's a card from a friend, saying they are
sorry that Anna died.
Nadia: Why are they sorry? They didn't kill
her.
JULIANA, 7 YEARS
Packing to move, the girls discovered a bag of throwaways.
Juliana: You can’t get rid of this! I’ve been
looking for it! It’s my favorite!!
Me: It’s a hanger.
JULIANA, 4 YEARS
Juliana, looking at her Barbie backpack: Who is that?
Me: Maybe Cinderella?
Juliana: NO! it's Barb...eque.
ADALYN, AGE 6
Adalyn: Barbies are different from people.
Because Barbies can turn their heads all the way around.
JULIANA, 2.5 YEARS
Juliana's expert travel advice: "You ride
on an airplane. You ride on a train. You drive on a bus. If you touch trash you
get sick. If you don't sit in your seat you go CRASH fall down. And then you go
waa-waa!"
ADALYN, 8 YEARS
You know the best time to kiss someone (on the
lips)? When your lips are dry.
NADIA, 4 YEARS
Nadia: Do we have a xylophone here?
Me: I think so. It's a little different from
the one in China though.
Nadia: WE DIDN'T BRING OUR XYLOPHONE??
ADALYN, 8 YEARS
Today we didn't wear masks to church for the
first time in a long time, so I put on some lipstick in the car. As I was
blotting it with a tissue, Adalyn said, "Oh no, do you have a bloody
nose?" I guess it's been a while.
JULIANA, 2.5 YEARS
Me: Do you want banana in your Chex (cereal)?
Juliana: I want...I want a CAKE in my Chex.
NADIA, 3 YEARS; ADALYN, 5 YEARS
(jetlagged)
4:30am trying to get Nadia to go back to
sleep:
N, screaming at the top of her lungs,
"IT'S BORING TO SLEEP!!"
9:30am trying to get Adalyn to put clothes on:
A, lying on the stairs wailing dramatically,
"I hate paaaaaants!!"
JULIANA, 2 YEARS
Juliana has taken to asking and answering the
questions she thinks we should be asking her. In her imaginary world we give
her everything she wants.
Juliana: "Do you want another cracker?
Okay! Another cracker!!"
JULIANA, 5 YEARS
Kevin: I have ancestors from Sweden, and
Norway, and Netherlands.
Juliana: NEVERLAND??
