16 Month Update

Lately at seems like Juliana has been growing by leaps and bounds. Sometimes literally! When she turned one it was hard to realize she wasn't technically a baby anymore, but now she has entered toddler-hood full force. Here are some of the phenomenal and amusing things she is doing lately:

So silly!

*Crawling is a thing of the past; Juliana walks expertly inside and out, although she has not yet mastered our six flights of stairs. Maybe next month. Walking has granted her tremendous speed, something she has found particularly useful when sneaking into places where she's not supposed to be. I open the door to the kitchen or bathroom and .237 seconds later she magically appears behind me. Usually with a mischievous grin.

All bundled up for a walk

*Juliana is still as social as ever, although she has gotten more suspicious of strangers, particularly if they aren't Chinese. She gets super excited to be around other kids and she prefers interaction about 99% of her waking hours.

*I definitely appreciate Juliana's zest for life, although I don't always enjoy the way it is sometimes expressed: a very loud, very high pitched squeal. The more excited and/or tired she is, the higher pitched the squeal. She gets soo excited about things. And by things I really mean people.

*In the past couple of weeks, Juliana has been adding a new word almost every day. Her most recent additions are Jesus (how very spiritual), trash (I really don't know why), night-night, and meow. A few times she has also said “xie-xie” (Chinese for thank you) and once she very clearly said “qu wan'r” (play outside). She also says long sentences of full gibberish, and she likes to whisper secrets in her own special code language.

*Juliana has been having a marvelous time with all the new toys from Grandpa and Yaya. In top place are a cat piano and a ride-on train. She can play the cat piano with several different sounds (organ, banjo, cat meows), she can choose her own dance rhythm (her favorite is disco), and she can also play various pre-recorded melodies. Wait till she discovers the microphone and volume control button!! When not enjoying train rides around the apartment, Juliana enjoys storing toys in its seat-compartment, pushing it around, attempting to stand on the seat, and naturally – pushing buttons and pulling levers to play even more music!

Multitasking at play: Juliana likes to sit on her train AND play her cat piano

*Grandpa and Yaya were just here for a cut-short one week visit. Juliana was very happy to have extra play pals. They built block towers, played “dig through the suitcases,” indulged in lots of tickles, and of course played lots of music. Juliana quickly learned to yell, “YA-YA!!” whenever Grandma left the room. She also learned grandparents just can't resist her charming smile and oh-so-innocent pleading eyes.

*Grandma Yaya declared Juliana to be the “dancingest” baby she's ever seen. Juliana loves to dance. Any time she hears a snatch of music (which is about 50 times a day) she starts waving her arms around, bobbing her head, and strutting around. It's funny every time. She also has an amazing sense of rhythm.

Block feet (for Grandma too!)

*Juliana has been sleeping through the night about half of the time, on average. She will do great for a while and then she'll start teething again or get sick and it totally throws her off! Lately she has still been taking a morning nap (with some persuasion) but she usually thinks she doesn't need it any more.

*When she gets upset (usually because she is overtired or hungry) sometimes she will wail pathetically, sneak a peek to make sure someone is looking, and then sprawl on the ground, banging her head just gently enough that it doesn't hurt. It's so hard not to laugh! I think we are going to have a big drama queen on hands.

*Usually Juliana still eats a large variety of foods: rice, cheese, tofu, eggs, fish brains... She has started to have some picky days when she just decides she doesn't like her previous favorite foods. I try to remember to be relaxed about it and realize that over a few days or a week, she really does get the food she needs, and when she's not eating, she usually has a reason.

*For all of her energy and enthusiasm, there are times when Juliana will focus in and work on something for 15 or 20 minutes: building with blocks, putting anything into containers. Her fine motor skills have improved a ton and sometimes I'm amazed by how adept she is at small tasks.

Practicing with the block sorter

*Our apartment has a lot of mirrors built into the walls and furniture, and Juliana loves to look at the baby in the mirror. She likes to watch her play and they often exchange friendly waves and kisses.

*Juliana learned to say “Jesus”from her “Jesus Loves Me” book I often read/sing to her at night. Lately she has tried to sing along! She also loves the songs “Old MacDonald” and “Pop Goes the Weasel,” where she adds her own “e-i-e-i-o” and “pop!” respectively.

The cardboard box: Still Juliana's favorite way to travel

*When Juliana turns 16 months (on the 19th), it will be the first time her number of flights (15) will be less than the months of her life.  That will last for a full four days before we take our next flight.  We'll be adding 8 more flights in the next month, so she may never catch up again!

Happy New Years!

I've been hearing some half-hearted fireworks going off in the distance and being a little slow, it took me a while to realize they actually have a legitimate reason for shooting them off. Legitimate in my mind, I mean; I am sure all the normal fireworks have some kind of legitimate reason.

“We're getting married!”

“We're building a new building and want to scare off the evil spirits!”

“We're opening a new restaurant and want everyone to know it's a happening place!”

“It's some kind of holiday!”

“It's the day after the holiday and I have fireworks left over!”

“It's Tuesday!”

But even though I have been preparing for our New Years Eve potluck tonight, I rather forgot it was New Years Eve. Besides, I'm not used to celebrating the same holidays as Chinese people. (Chinese New Year, January 23 this year, is a much bigger deal, but they still celebrate the solar calendar New Year too.)

I think 2012 will be a good year. After all, it's a nicely proportional even number, unlike those tricky, unstable odd ones. To celebrate, I plan to stay up until at least midnight Guam time (aka. 10pm).

Happy New Years, wherever you are!

Foreign (not so foreign) Country

After living in China for a while, you tend to stop seeing it as a foreign country. Granted, there are strange/frustrating/amusing cultural situations that come up every other day to remind you how little you understand, but you stop seeing the interesting sights you walk by every day because they have become normal. Today when we were out walking around (in the freezing cold!), I was remembering how strange some of these things were when I first came to China. I started thinking about things you don't see on an American street...

*A row of vegetable sellers with their four foot mounds of cabbage piled up on the sidewalk. They squat on tiny foot high stools next to tiny makeshift fires, waiting for someone who hasn't yet stocked up on their winter's supply of vegetables.

*Bicycle repairmen, shoe repairmen, seamstresses, and locksmiths, their equipment littering the sidewalk, waiting to repair just about anything for 50 cents. Their hands are dirty from work and gnarled from cold. Most of them are middle aged or older and very efficient at their work.

*A row of 25 shops, smaller than some people's closets, all selling an almost identical collection of random household items: wash bowls, brooms, dishes, pots, hangers, tools... How do they all stay in business? Perhaps because they have that one item that is different from the others.

*Interspersed among the household items are tiny stores filled with cages of chickens and various other fowl. And rabbits. Wonder what those are for?

*Stores selling huge bags of la jiao (dried red peppers) and other spices.

*Tiny stores filled with giant slabs of meat hanging from the ceilings.

*Outdoor sellers setting up booths with hats, gloves, and lots and lots of long-underwear.

*80% of people wearing face masks (for warmth) and only 40% wearing hats. I don't understand.

*Hundreds of people walking up and down the streets despite the cold.

*Hundreds of people walking on the street despite the fact there is a 15 foot wide sidewalk right next to them.  (What can I say...I usually walk in the street too...)

So yeah, I guess China still is a foreign country after all. But I was thinking the other day, as Juliana gobbled up her fish brains and innards, none of these things will seem strange to her at all!

Merry Finals!

Only 5 days until Christmas! ...And 6 days until final exams.

There are some things I like about Christmas in China...less commercialism (although that seems to be the only part that is catching on!), students/tutors/friends who are excited to take part in our Christmas traditions, listening to Christmas music on online radio, less overload of Christmas related activities (well, sometimes).

But a definite disadvantage of Christmas in China is that you may end up taking finals the day after Christmas. Fortunately Christmas is on a Sunday this year so we aren't taking finals on Christmas Day. For that I'm very grateful. But having a bunch of exams and studying looming over your head isn't the happiest way to spend the day. It's a good thing we are also having Late Christmas when my parents arrive (2 weeks from today!!).

How are we spending our last week of classes? Well, our teachers' responses have been varied. Most of them seem determined to pick up the pace and cram as much as possible into the last minute. Kevin's teacher decided they will cover two more units plus go over all the grammar in the remaining six units.

One of my teachers (the really good one that we love), is actually reviewing! What a novel concept! We are going through all the lessons highlighting the grammar and structures that are most important for us to remember. It's great. We love her. And she won't be here next term. :(

We asked our listening teacher how to prepare for our final exam and he said, “Review lesson 1-12 (i.e. all the content from the term). Don't worry!” Very helpful. We're going to fail.

Oh well. 8 days from today we will be officially free!

So Merry Christmas and happy finals to all.

All Bundled Up

 

With daytime temperatures hovering in the 20's (Fahrenheit), we've been getting serious about bundling up to go outside.  This winter I actually haven't gotten hardly any comments about Juliana not wearing enough clothes!!  Amazing.  And kind of strange.  I must be doing something right.  Also, they seem to be more lenient about toddlers showing skin (provided it is only the 2 inches surrounding the eyes).

The other day as I bundled Juliana up for the cold, I noticed something:  Absolutely none of her outerwear remotely matches!  She has:
1. A red and blue hat with sequins, braiding, little plastic bunny pins, fake flowers, and embroidered kid faces complete with 3D hair (a present from A-yi)

2. A red and blue scarf (so actually I lied: the scarf and the hat do match!

3. A purple, black, and white polka-dot face mask (I was trying to think if I had seen face-masks in America, but since I'm from Georgia I can't imagine actually needing them.  Face-masks are an essential part of outerwear in China, though.  More important than a hat or gloves.  I have decided that Juliana's is not very useful, though, because she just keeps licking at it until it is soaking wet and cold.)

4. A peachy-pink and white polka-dot coat (the best thing we could find to fit her, and the sleeves are still a good 6" longer than her arms.

5. Purple outer-pants with a white stripe down the side and pink and purple butterflies.

6. Buried inside her extra-long coat sleeves, she's also wearing a pair of bright primary striped mittens.

Living in China for a while does dim your sense of what it means to match.  I probably couldn't get away with this in America, but in China there is absolutely nothing wrong with this outfit.  In fact, all the color and diversity of pattern make it extra pretty!

It's possible Juliana will look back at this picture when she is older and say, "Why did you let me dress like that??"  But then again, she'll be growing up in China, so she probably won't think a thing of it!

P.S. Underneath all these outer-layers she is also wearing a turtleneck, a sweater, two pair of pants, thick tights, and an extra pair of socks.  Because it is that cold in our house!  But that's another post...

My "Charlie-Brown" Pies

by Ruth

I agreed to make pumpkin pie for our big 'city wide' Thanksgiving meal. It was a last minute decision, so I headed out late last night to buy some pumpkin. Ok, so actually it was only 7pm, but it was already completely dark outside and I am hardly ever out after dark post-baby. Thus as I biked to the nearby vegetable market, dodging the hordes of students heading out for Saturday evening fun, it felt like a late night outing. Half of the large road in front of the vegetable market was transformed into a parking lot – literally. The actual parking areas are far too small, so cars just stopped and parked in the road, along with dozens of taxis waiting for fares. Pedestrians swarmed across the street while bikes and motorbikes swerved through and honking cars inched their way through the road-turned-parking lot.

Street vendors were out in mass, selling all manner of fried foods and unidentifiable objects on sticks. I wasn't even sure if the vegetable sellers were still around at night. Some had covered their vegetables with cloths and headed home, but a number were still open for business. I picked out a couple of small pumkins and headed home (after picking up some tofu-filled egg-burritos and spicy skewered vegetables for our dinner.

I often made pumpkin pie as my Thanksgiving contribution when I was younger, but I had never made it from fresh pumpkin before. I had also never made it in China, which, as you know if cook in China (or other non-western countries), can be a little different experience.

Step one: slice and cook the pumpkin. I didn't really know how long to cook the pumpkin, so I set the oven on some medium temperature and came back every few minutes to stab pieces with a fork. By the end they had taken quite a beating. Some of the pieces were a little green looking, so I wasn't sure how that would work out either. Eventually all the pieces were pretty soft, so Kevin scraped the meat out of the rind while I worked on the pie crust. That was pretty easy except when I was ready to roll it out, I realized my rolling pin was moldy. But I covered it with plastic wrap and used it anyway.

Step two: Mash the pumpkin. After mashing and beating the pumpkin with eggs, we were left with a mixture of pumpkiny liquid and hard pumpkin chunks. Fortunately a little blender action solved the problem of the chunks.

Step three: Mix in other ingredients. I didn't actually have all the ingredients. Evaporated milk can apparently be bought in another part of the city about an hour away, but that wasn't going to happen. Kevin looked for sweetened condensed milk at the supermarket but they stocked only blueberry or strawberry flavor. Not going to work. So I settled for a powdered milk and water substitution my mom found online and added extra spices because it seemed like a good idea.

Step four: Bake the pie. Since I don't have an actual pie pan, I used a round cake pan instead. Our small toaster-oven is pretty nice for China but definitely smaller and more finicky than a real oven. I converted the baking temperature from Fahrenheit into Celsius and then the Celsius into “I wonder what temperature the oven will actually be” degrees. I generally go for about 25*C lower than called for, but it kinda comes down to what kind of mood the oven is in on a given day. The only way to really keep things from burning is to watch them closely, cover with foil, and make the baking time about 10-20% less than the recipe says. Good thing I looked in on the pie because about 5 minutes into cooking I realized the top burner was on instead of the bottom one!

Step 5: Keep baking the pie. I guess I turned the temperature down too low because I kept checking and kept checking and it was still a jiggly mess. After the third knife slice, the clean line had turned into a big gash down the middle of the pie.

Finally the pie was finished, and it actually looked good (other than the big gash). Except it looked awfully small. There were going to be 20 adults and 10 children at our Thanksgiving feast, and this was an 8” pie. I still had just enough shortening left to make another pie crust, so I thought maybe in the morning I would run out and get some more pumpkins or maybe some sweet potatoes and make a sweet potato pie.

Finally I decided I should make a pecan pie! It would be perfect. I didn't have any corn syrup, like most recipes called for, but thanks to allrecipes.com “don't want this ingredient” search, I found one using sugar instead. The only other slight problem: I didn't actually have pecans.

I did, however, have some walnuts left over from my amazing sweet potato casserole. Walnuts are definitely no pecans, but they work as a China- substitute. I made up another pie crust and covered my moldy rolling pin once more before throwing it out. There was just enough crust left over to make a few pretty leaves to cover the ugly gash in the pumpkin pie. Success!

I arranged from walnuts prettily on top of the pie, and they immediately sank halfway into pie liquid. Oh well. Into the oven, double checking the correct burner was on this time! I checked the pie about 5-10 minutes into cooking only to find the top was already burning! Seriously? I covered it with foil and kept checking on it. After a while I decided this burnt top was not going to do, so I pulled the partly-cooked pie out of the oven and used a knife to scrape of as much of the burnt as I could. The pretty was all gone, but at least it wouldn't taste burnt (I hoped). Then I put the pie back in to finish cooking, not really sure how that little cooling interlude would effect it.

After the initial burn, I kept checking the pie frequently, but even after exceeding the called-for baking time, the pie was still pure liquid. I tried testing it with a knife and struck a submerged walnut instead, creating a fissure instead of a smooth cut. It was becoming a trend. I poked around at several walnuts, trying to scoot one over the hole. Several knife stabs and 15 or 20 minutes later, the pie was finally “set” enough to take out. The pretty walnut design was completely obliterated, but it didn't really look bad, considering.

This afternoon I took the pies to our celebration and the verdict was... Success! The pumpkin pie tasted just like it should, and we were even able to buy some whipped cream from a local bakery for the top! The non-pecan pie was pretty good too. I mean, a walnut is never going to be a pecan, but otherwise it was good! And it didn't even taste burnt at all. The pumpkin pie was quickly eaten and half the walnut pie was gone (because after all, some people don't know what pecan pie is all about).

Sadly, we didn't get any pictures before they were eaten up! The pumpkin pie ended up looking pretty cute with those little pastry leaves and the walnut pie looked perfectly respectable, but now you'll just have to take my word for it.

Thanksgiving

I've noticed a number of people on Facebook putting up daily statuses about what they are thankful for during the month of November. I haven't done this, but lately I have been thinking of things I'm especially thankful for this year. I usually put a lot more mental energy into complaining than being thankful, even though I have a great life. I don't want to just pull out the thankfulness when Thanksgiving is near, but I love this holiday that is dedicated to being grateful (well, and eating a lot of food). So I have made a list of 24 things (for each day of the month leading up to Thanksgiving) I am thankful for right now. It isn't in any particular order and certainly isn't comprehensive, so if you aren't mentioned, don't get offended.

1. I'm grateful that our university is willing to provide an extra “mother's class” for the 3 mothers who can't attend the regular department classes. Meeting with a tutor is great, but having a actual teacher and class-time and classmates is so valuable!
   
   
2. I just love my baby! It's ridiculous, but I find myself often feeling jealous of people without children. Being able to go on dates with their husband or not wake up during the night. Or there would be so much more time for studying Chinese. But actually before Juliana was born, I was often jealous of people who did have children. Classic case of 'grass is greener' that ridiculous discontentment. Having a baby (em, toddler) isn't always easy but I am so glad to be a parent.
   
   
3. I'm glad to live in a city where we can get fresh milk (skim and whole) each week, have easy access to cheese, and have a yummy western restaurant (with pizza and milkshakes!).
   
   
4. Speaking of food, I'm really glad to live in a country that has awesome, inexpensive food. It would stink to live somewhere with gross food or someplace with great food you could never afford.
   
   
5. While there is a definite convenience in having a car, I love being able to bike most places. I am also grateful for the abundance of bike repairmen whom you sometimes end up visiting every other week.
   
   
6. I am glad to be surrounded by so many people. That was definitely something I struggled with first coming to China, and I do still love to get out of the city, but lately I have appreciated being in a place where the streets and sidewalks and stores and neighborhoods are chalk full of people moving around and hanging out outside, even in winter. No isolation here!
   
   
7. I'm grateful for the people in the community I see every day: the teenager who works at the hair-shop at the bottom of the stairwell and runs out to greet Juliana, man who sells local honey outside the gate and always smiles when I bike through, the grannies and mothers and little kids living around us who all know Juliana, the vegetable sellers who give us good prices, the workers in the supermarket who now know Juliana.

8. Skype! Juliana gets so excited and starts waving as soon as we bring out the computer and microphone. She loves getting to see her grandparents and family, and they love seeing her show off her newest tricks. It's hard being so far away from family, and things like this make it a lot easier!
   
   
9. I am thankful for the Chinese I am learning! There are days I feel like I don't know anything, but I know a LOT more than a few months ago! I can actually carry on conversations with my tutors, and I couldn't read or write anything before. Every bit is so helpful.
   
   
10. I love our A-yi! Maybe not quite as much as Juliana, who still gets so excited whenever she comes, but I do like her a lot. It is really great to have someone I feel comfortable leaving Juliana with.
    
    
11. I am thankful to Kevin for giving Juliana breakfast so I can sleep a little longer when she wakes up ridiculously early, washing the dishes every night, getting down on the floor and playing with Juliana, supporting me in language study, and sharing similar parenting ideas.
    
    
12. I am really enjoying being around other families this year! We can commiserate about how many times we were up last night and how hard it is to find study time and where to buy the cheapest diapers.
    
    
13. Chocolate. You know that had to be on the list.
    
    
14. I love my Kindle! Probably the best purchase (or my parent's best purchase, anyway) in the past few years. I have read a LOT of books on it over the past year and most of them were free! It's pretty much the best thing a book lover living overseas can possess!
    
    
15. Clear skies! I love that we can see the mountains out our window almost every day, and when we walk outside the air doesn't feel unhealthy to breathe.
    
    
16. I am excited that my parents are coming to visit in January!!
    
    
17. I so appreciate sleep. Juliana is still not an amazing sleeper but it has been SO much better than the first year of her life. It is still wonderful to wake up in the night knowing you have slept longer than 2hrs, and even more phenomenal to wake up and realized it's morning!
    
    
18. I am thankfulness for our apartment, which though not as nice as our last one, is a good size for us, is really convenient to classes, and is a great price.
    
    
19. I am glad to live on the sixth floor because we have a good view over the campus, we get lots of light, and we are forced to get exercise every day.
    
    
20. I appreciate how happy Juliana is! She really has a zest for life, and we smile and laugh so much more with her around.
    
    
21. I am grateful for heat, because every winter I remember how cold I was in Yangzhou and know better than to take central heating for granted!
    
    
22. I'm thankful for all the people who encourage and support us being in China (even though they miss us terribly, of course :)
    
    
23. I am happy it's time to start listening to Christmas songs.
    
    
24. I'm thankful for many good Thanksgiving memories... many years of waking up to the smell of turkey and the taste of cinnamon rolls, using the crystal glasses, china, and real silver, and eating tons of amazing food...plus a few strange China experiences - crackers on a train with Team YZ, dinner in a revolving restaurant, KFC in lieu of turkey...
    Happy Thanksgiving to All!

Why I'm still Nursing

Before Juliana was born I thought I would nurse for one year and then be done. I hadn't really thought about it much; that just seemed to be 'what people do.' Since her birth though, I have changed a good number of my previous parenting ideas. 

Right now I am happily nursing a 14 month old with no plans of stopping anytime soon. Even though Juliana has officially become a toddler, I don't see what any magical difference between 11 months and 30 days (nursing a baby) and 12 months 1 day or baby's first steps (Oh my gosh, you're nursing a toddler??!).

There are many reasons to continue nursing a toddler. Extended nursing is still very beneficial. I dislike the term “extended nursing” because it seems like something strange and unusual. While it is currently not the norm in America, I don't think it should be unusual at all. Did you know that the worldwide age for weaning is 4 years old? FOUR! That's quite a bit different from the 6 months – 1 year we consider normal in America.

Why should we change our cultural norms? Well here are a few great reasons:

[Information from http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html. See page for more detailed info and references]

• Breastfeeding continues to be a valuable source of nutrition and disease protection for as long as breastfeeding continues.
  • In the second year (12-23 months), 448 mL of breastmilk provides:

29% of energy requirements
43% of protein requirements
36% of calcium requirements
75% of vitamin A requirements
76% of folate requirements
94% of vitamin B₁₂ requirements
60% of vitamin C requirements

• Nursing toddlers between the ages of 16 and 30 months have been found to have fewer illnesses and illnesses of shorter duration than their non-nursing peers
• Extensive research on the relationship between cognitive achievement (IQ scores, grades in school) and breastfeeding has shown the greatest gains for those children breastfed the longest.
• Helps foster attachment and security which later leads to independence. "Meeting a child's dependency needs is the key to helping that child achieve independence. And children outgrow these needs according to their own unique timetable." [Elizabeth N. Baldwin, Esq. in "Extended Breastfeeding and the Law"] Children who achieve independence at their own pace are more secure in that independence then children forced into independence prematurely.
• The World Health Organization recommends nursing for at least 2 years.
• The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that "Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child... Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother... There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer." (AAP 2005)
• For the mother, extended breastfeeding reduces the risk of breast, ovarian, uterine, and endometrial cancers and rheumatoid arthritis.

These are all phenomenal reasons, but I also have some of my own reasons for why I like nursing a toddler as well.

*Juliana loves it! She will nurse for a minute or two and then look up with a big grin. It's easy to see it means far more than just nutrition for her.

*I enjoy the feeling of closeness. She has already grown up so much and I know time will continue to go quickly. I appreciate these moments of holding her close.

*Sometimes it helps Juliana to fall asleep. The sleep-inducing factor seems to have mostly worn off months and months ago, but if she is really tired and wired, sometimes it will cause her fall asleep. And I still love nursing a baby (eh, toddler) to sleep.

*She only nurses for about 5 minutes each time, so it's not at all like the 8 hours a day you spend nursing a newborn.

*In the morning, I bring Juliana into bed to for a leisurely, sleepy nurse. This is the one time she'll nurse for a while, which means I get to stay in bed longer! Sometimes she even falls back asleep for a bit.

*I don't have to stress about getting her to drink enough cows milk. She is gradually getting to like it more.

*I feel reassured that if she is sick, she will still be able to get the hydration and nutrients she needs. Fortunately, she hasn't hardly ever been sick!

*Whenever she or I do decide to wean, I hope the process will be much more natural and easy since there is no deadline. I don't know how long I will continue to nurse Juliana, we'll just see. :)

I know that not everyone (or even, most people in America) are interested in extended breastfeeding, and it's certainly not something to force yourself into unwillingly. My hope, though, is that it will become much more normal in our culture. That mothers will consider nursing beyond a year, and that family, friends, and nosy strangers will support her decision!

Family Confusion

by Ruth

Today in class we were talking about family relationships, a topic that very quickly becomes confusing in Chinese! A few words are similar – mama, baba...and that's about it. No generic “grandmother, grandfather, aunt, uncle” etc. Almost every relationship has a different term depending on if it is the father's or mother's side, if the person is a blood-relative or married in, and also if the person is younger or older than yourself (or whoever you are comparing them to). For example...

Ge-ge: older brother (sao-zi: older brother's wife)

Di-di: younger brother (di-mei: younger brother's wife)

Jie-jie: older sister (jie-fu: older sister's husband)

Mei-mei: younger sister (mei-fu: younger sister's husband)

Nai-nai: father's mother

Ye-ye: father's father

Wai-po/lao-lao: mother's mother

Wai-gong/lao-ye: father's father

Da-bo: father's older brother

Da-jiu: mother's older brother (jiu-ma: mother's older brother's wife)

Xiao-gu: father's younger sister

Xiao-yi: mother's younger sister

Biao-jie: older female cousin (father's sister's daughter or mother's sibling's daughter)

Er xi-fu: son's wife

Nu-xu: daughter's husband

Wai-sheng-nu: granddaughter – daughter's daughter

Sun-nu: granddaughter – son's daughter

I could go on, but you get the idea: it is endlessly complicated! I think there are several reasons for this: First, family relationships are obviously very important in China, so the language includes very specific descriptions of those relationships.

Second, age and status are very important, so older siblings and people in the older generation should be shown proper respect. An older brother and a younger brother just aren't the same thing. An older brother's wife has the highest status of all the wives in the family, so she gets a different name. Thus I will always have a higher status than Kevin's younger brother Scott and call him di-di, even though he is older than me, since I married the firstborn son. Smart going on my part. :)- I will also inherit the family fortune. Oh wait... Anyway, in the past, family status was especially important, but today it is still important for showing the proper respect.

Third, the wife's family and husband's family are viewed rather differently. In the past, the wife left her family to join the husband's family, and while this isn't exactly the case anymore, the idea is still there. Many relationships on the wife's side have the character “wai” (literally meaning outside/outsider) because the relationship with the wife's family isn't as close a bond. At least in theory, though our teacher explained that practically this often isn't the case anymore. But this is part of why it is so important to have a son – you lose your daughter to another family, but a son will carry on your family line.

It is pretty interesting to see all the culture that goes behind these complex relationship terms, but overall I'm just glad not to have too much extended family!!

A Very Important Day

By Ruth

A Very Important Day is coming next week - - November 1 is “Turn on the Heat Day!!” I love this day of the year. In China, the central heating (in our apartments, classrooms, etc.) is controlled by the government and is turned on according to the date rather than the weather. The dates for heat vary according to region. In Weinan, which was a bit further south, our heat wasn't turned on until November 15.

In the south of China, there is no central heating at all. In Yangzhou, for example, I spent my first two years in China freeeeeeeeeezing. I was cold in class and cold outside and cold at home and the only time when I was warm was in bed (with long johns, pjs, several blankets, a hot waterbottle, and a small A/C heater unit. One of my friends from Inner-Mongolia had hard time adjusting to the cold in Yangzhou. When Kevin and I returned to China, one of my big requests for location was to be north of the heat line! I love heat!

Fortunately this year the weather has not been so cold leading up to "Turn on the Heat Day." Just two days ago Kevin and I were saying that it was still remarkably warm. Then – BAM – cold sneaks up and hits you in the face. Cold is sneaky and nasty that way. Today I pulled out the long johns, Smartwool socks, and my big down coat. I dressed Juliana in a turtle neck and thick sweater, leggings, and two pairs of pants, and she wasn't even going outside.

We have also moved Juliana's bed back into our room until the heat comes on. It's not a huge transition since she didn't move out of our room until two months ago. Besides which, she has recently gone back to waking up about 250 times a night because of a stupid tooth that is taking forever to come in. So she's been spending half the night in our bed anyway. (Note: Our double bed is not really big enough for two adult people and one very small but very squirmy child who now likes to claim her own fair share of space - ½ the bed.) We moved her into our room because hers is freezing. Almost as cold as the kitchen, so about 10 degrees colder than the rest of the house. That is because her room has two layers of single-paned windows but the outer windows are broken off. So there is about 1/8” of glass separating inside from out. Even though we have covered all the cracks between the windows with tape, it is still very cold. Hopefully once we have heat it will be warm enough to move her back. In the meantime, it is kind of cozy having everyone sleeping in one (sort of warm) room. Especially since last night Juliana only woke up once, at 5:45am.  Maybe it was teeth + cold that was keeping her awake.

At any rate, I'm so glad that next week the all powerful "They" will turn on the heat!